I don’t know about you, but in my experience, life has been feeling more chaotic as of late. It’s like there is a constant world-wide friction showing itself in sickness, violence, fertility choices, the environment, and all the strong opinions on the “right” solutions. Though this friction has always existed, we are now more aware of it than ever because of constant media coverage and “expert” advice being blasted and re-shared on social media outlets.
Amidst all of this I notice my own opinions on all the things naturally flood my mind and then I feel the anger that arises when I see others preaching an opposite opinion. There is a lot of pressure to speak our truth, so that makes me think that I should voice my opinion more. But as a life-long learner I start to question if my opinion has enough life experience and knowledge to back it up. This causes me an uncomfortable internal chaos.
I first became aware of internal chaos with my first yoga teacher in 2008. In his Iyengar based Hatha tradition, we held poses for a long time. I remember being held in Warrior II many times, my legs shaking, my forehead sweating, my breath and heart racing, my mind cursing my teacher's name… All the while he kept holding us in the pose, telling us to breathe smoothly, relax our jaws, and a bunch of other stuff I saw as nonsense at the time. I remember wanting to smack him, even though I’ve never smacked anyone besides my older brother. But I kept coming back to that class. It was the after effect of this chaos that kept me coming back. I felt more in the present moment, my mind was quieter, my body was clearer, and I liked myself more.
Fast forward to now, having 14 years of dedicated practice under my belt and a new teacher that can communicate this experience better to me, I see that this physical yoga practice helped me find calm in the chaos. It blows my mind how far I’ve come over the years. These days I remain calm and steady in a long Warrior II hold, and I can now also translate this experience to the other areas of my practice and life when I feel chaos.
So, bringing it back to what this means for chaos outside of ourselves? It’s one thing to be able to find the calm from your internal chaos, but what about when the world is out of control? This is when we can control how we react. If we feel chaotic inside, we might react in a way that creates more chaos and adds to the problem. If we focus on calming the chaos within, we will react in a way that doesn’t add to the chaos. And for me personally, I guess that means that when I’m not choosing to speak up because of my internal chaos, it’s okay. It’s the right choice for me and the world.
With all of that said, how do we create more internal calm when all the external chaos is going on? That is the million-dollar question, that I have lots of answers for, all of which would take many moons to explain and that I haven’t even mastered myself the way I have Warrior II. I do have one simple thing I’ll share- The “ahhh” breath.
You can find a quick tutorial here on my Instagram page!
There is always chaos in the world so the ability to create more calm is the best antidote. The calm starts within. This is a constant practice that often needs continual retraining, but once you are aware of it, there is no going back. There will always be ups and downs, but the chaos WILL keep getting calmer for you internally, which will then spread to your external world.
Ending on a higher note, I mentioned the constant world-wide “friction” in the beginning of this. I wanted to talk about chaos vs. friction. Chaos disperses and creates incoherent energy. Friction moves in one place and creates heat. Heat causes transformation. Both can be uncomfortable, but the transformation that comes from friction is productive, while the incoherence of chaos isn’t productive. The world-wide friction we continually experience means we are constantly transforming and evolving. So, while we continually try to calm the chaos, it means we are bringing a more coherent energy to the friction of the world’s constant transformation, which is super exciting!
If I act externally, I want it to be helpful and if I’m only reacting from my internal state of chaos, it won't be helpful. So, while I don’t do anything for the world to see to help the external events, I can assure you I’m doing tons of internal work.
To be most helpful, we must stick to what is true for us to embrace the friction of transformation while calming the chaos. This looks different for all of us, so continue trusting your inner voice, while staying open to other possibilities.