The other night in conversation, I told my boyfriend that if I wasn’t me, that I would hope to hang out with someone just like me. Given my history of negative self-talk and toxic thought patterns (that I am still working very hard on), this statement I made surprised me. Yet, I still felt it to be so true. So, I started thinking about why I would like to hang out with myself. The first and main thing that came to mind was that I am freaking hilarious. Even if I’m the only one who thinks that (Though I’m not. One other person confirmed that I’m hilarious, and he is an absolute gem), I will always keep myself thoroughly entertained, and that’s all that matters. Right?
This realization of wanting to hang out with myself, made my thoughts shift to the subject of habit evolution, naturally…
What if I committed to be the type of person I want to hang out with?
What are their personality traits?
How do they make me feel?
What energy do they give off?
What habits do they have to incorporate into their everyday life in order to maintain that awesomeness?
Seriously. Stop and take a moment to answer those questions for yourself….
Now I doubt anyone answered something like: “They are super meek and make me feel superior to them. They give off a sad and dull energy. This is probably because they eat entire pie every day.” If you did answer that way, maybe move on to another article, as you won’t get what you are looking for here.
My guess is that most of you, like me, want to be around someone who is lively, energetic, joyous, etc. Someone who makes you feel inspired and cheerful. Their energy is radiant! Maybe your words were different, but you get the idea….
Now, look at the things they do every day to maintain their awesomeness? If it’s something like, “They smoke a pack of cigs every day and party like it’s 1999.”, go back to the drawing board. You are not being truthful to yourself. If it’s something like, “They get enough rest and feed their body lots of green plants.”, you are honoring your truth.
Continue building onto this list of habits that encourage your ideal buddy’s awesome traits. What do they like to do for fun? Are they introverted, extroverted, or a little bit of both? How do they react to life when things get intense? The more specific you can get, the better! Once you are able to deeply connect with the specific details of who you want to hang out with, you can analyze how to apply these things to your own life and become your own best friend.
Be discriminating to what arises out in this analyzation. Be in search for the truth. For instance, when I analyze what makes me so “freaking hilarious”, I could go into, “When I indulge in alcohol, I’m more relaxed, and funny things just come out of my mouth.” However, when I look deeper for the truth, I realize that my alcohol induced, “funny” states are really followed by me wondering the next morning exactly what I said, what conversations were had, and/or if I offended anyone. The deepest truth is that when I am well rested and fed, then I have a clear head to access my naturally comical nature, and it simply flows out of me. I want to hang out with that “freaking hilarious” me. Not the confused and remorsefully “funny” me.
Now that you have your list of the kind of person you want to hang out with, mark the things that they do every day that you can also do, and start applying those things to your own life tomorrow. Once you integrate those things, go back to the list, and start integrating the other things. Keep doing the things and add new things as necessary. Piece of cake!
The timing of this writing this is unplanned, but interesting. We are in the thick of COVID-19 and quarantining. With many of us being isolated, it is now more than ever so important to learn how to hang out with ourselves. I am so grateful that I can literally crack myself up alone in my apartment with my old cat, and I send you all the positive hope for connecting to the unique awesomeness within yourself that you love to be around.